Discussing infertility with your partner
The inability to conceive can be stressful and frustrating for any couple. Even the mere thought of taking several fertility treatments can create financial, emotional and physical stress.
You see, most couples have been driven apart due to fertility treatments. For others, it is a time to unite, understand, and love each other. Couples who wish to have a baby, or who have tried unsuccessfully to have a baby should consult their fertility specialist or a doctor. Most importantly, there should be a free flow of communication between the couple. They need to talk to each other. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. Communicating fertility problems with each other will give couples the chance to discuss their desires, fears, and thoughts. By so doing, they will be able to determine the best course of treatment for their condition, if any.
Succeeding with infertility treatment
Couples should fix an appointment with each other
Make time during the day when both couples can discuss. Important topics you could discuss include:
- The most recent results of your therapy/treatments
- Your thoughts and feelings
- The way forward
A so-called “twenty-minute rule” has been suggested by the National Infertility Association. This is the time set aside to communicate about pending issues, and then move on. Doing so will allow each party to bear his or her mind, and a chance to listen to each other. But then, the time limit keeps infertility from being the main focus of the whole time you spend with each other.
Be understanding with your partner
The way you cope with the situation at hand is the best way you can manage the condition. Also, the way your partner copes is the best he or she can do at present. Accepting reality will enhance compassion and communication.
Responsibilities should be shared
Couples should split responsibilities among themselves. If one partner takes up the responsibility of making doctor’s appointments and requesting for laboratory results, the other could handle insurance claims and bills. With this, each party won’t feel that he or she is shouldering the entire responsibility. It creates a sense of unity.
Decide how much information you will share
You must come to terms with how much information you both will share with your friends and family. A good rule of thumb would be to follow each other’s most private desires. But then, if one partner desires to vent with a sibling, best friend, or parent, there should be some respect for that connection when deciding. Both parties must stick to that agreement. If there’s a need for an exception, then permission must be obtained from the party concerned. Doing this will help build trust between both parties.
Get external support
When both parties admit to each other that they are not perfect and that they can’t be everything to one another, it prevents feelings from getting hurt. According to the Mayo Clinic, each party should feel free to seek support from:
- support group
- healthcare professional
- parents who experienced similar challenges while trying to become a parent.